but I would love to have anybody tell me how any of their past controllers, just with motion sensing, would be any better than a freaking remote control in your right hand and gimped analog stick pad thingie in my left hand.
I assume you mean "any worse". One hand can move a bit more freely than two. Two hands could hold two controllers for more gameplay possibilities (drumsticks?).
They could have made a Gamecube controller that can split in two, though. That way, you could use the gyroscope more freely, or use it in more of a standard contoller as a more minor function.. such as peaking around a corner in a shooter.