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Out of the Blue

My floods of urine in the kitchen have been supplemented the past couple of mornings with poop, which is actually the good news containing the bad news, as there seems to be blood in it. As I say, the blood is obviously bad news, but it would have been much harder to discover had it not been on the kitchen floor, so I'm thankful at least that I was able to notice it this way. The dogs are due for a trip to the vet anyway, so we'll see what comes of this, and cross our fingers that perhaps the reason this is happening is not as dire as we are imagining.

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17. Re: Out of the Blue Jul 30, 2012, 16:57 Retired
Cutter wrote on Jul 30, 2012, 16:32:
A guy goes into a restaurant and asks for a menu, but the waiter tells him, "We don't have menus here. Our chef can make any dish you desire in fact, if he can't, we'll give you one thousand dollars."

The man sees a chance to make some money so he thinks of something impossible. "Bring me an order of hummingbird tongues on rye toast," he tells the waiter, who returns fairly quickly with a plate. "One order of hummingbird tongues on rye toast. Will there be anything else?"

The man thinks for a second, then says, "I'd like a bowl of lo mein made with rutabaga-flavored noodles that were imported from Bolivia by Paul Newman, accompanied by a croissant with exactly 429 caraway seeds and served on aquamarine-colored bone china from the Yuan Dynasty." The waiter returns in a few minutes with a bowl. "One number eight. Will there be anything else?"

The man thinks another second, then says, "Yes bring me an elephant ear sandwich." The waiter says disappears into the kitchen and returns with a thousand dollars in cash. "You did it, sir. You beat us." With a broad smile, the man pockets the money. "Didn't have any elephant ears back there, huh?" "Oh no," the waiter says. "We have plenty of elephant ears. We just ran out of the big rolls."

Are you high right now?

Better punchline would be "Your bill is $1,000"
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